Why breakups, especially with a first love, can be so hard is because it’s extremely difficult for us to accept. Some stay with us forever and others come in for a short, beautiful time until they are no longer part of our journey. Whether they are a soul mate, a best friend, or a teacher, they come in to teach us what we need to be taught or to experience in order to grow. People come into our lives at the exact right time. We don’t know what the future holds, and if this person is highly beneficial for you and your path, they will come back in some shape or form. If you’re finding it extremely hard to accept that he or she won’t be in your life, or how they used to be, quiet your mind by telling yourself that he or she is not in my life in this form right now. If you’re fresh off a breakup, one of the things you’re most likely thinking is: How do I get them back?Īs much as deep down we know that they aren’t right for us, it’s hard for us to imagine not being with this person in a romantic way. You don’t even need to send it to them, just getting out your truth may be all that was needed in order for you to let it go.Īccepting he or she is not your person (at least not for right now). If it’s been a long time and getting in touch doesn’t feel like the right thing to do, write them a letter in your journal. If you can, set up a time to express your truth to them after the breakup. Not in the sense of trying to win them back, but express whatever is true for you. Not for the other person’s sake, but for our own.Īlthough it may be hard, express yourself to this person. What can keep us from moving on is knowing that we didn’t speak our truth. In the moment, especially if you didn’t know it was coming, chances are you acted out of fear or ego, trying to play it cool. Let yourself off the hook for not saying the perfect thing to them during the breakup. Maybe we walked away from the relationship trying to be the cool girl or guy, rather than expressing how we really felt. One of the ways that can keep us from moving on is not fully expressing our truth to the other person. Sometimes taking a step out of your own mind makes you realize why this breakup or letting go is so beneficial for you.Įxpress what you’re feeling to the other person (up to your discretion). Talking to someone like a friend, coach or therapist can also give you a broader perspective of the relationship. PS – in the present moment is where joy can happen! It will also allow you to groove into the present moment because it will help you to get out of your head and into what you’re currently doing or experiencing. Even if you’re out and about with them and not talking about the the relationship, just knowing that you aren’t hiding something that’s taking up a lot of your energy will give you a sense of ease. It helps to know that the people you’re with also know what you’re going through. Use this breakup or letting go of the past as a chance to grow closer and have a more open relationship with your friends or family. You fake smile, fake enjoy yourself, when all you want to do is cry. One of the hardest things to do is to go through a breakup and for the people around you to be unaware of it. Be conscious of your feelings and notice when they switch to feelings of joy, happiness, gratitude, clarity or excitement and relish in those moments.įeelings will come and go, they are there to simply be felt.Įxpress what you’re going through to people you trust. Even if in your mind you were sad all day, there were probably moments where you saw your dog and your feelings went to love, or your friend sent you a funny video and it made you laugh. You won’t even feel this way the whole time you’re going through the toughest part. When you’re going through a breakup, it’s natural to think: “Will I always feel this way?” Feelings come and go like waves they change. Think of a movie: When you’re watching a movie, one minute you feel happy, the next you’re laughing, then you’re crying, then you’re happy again.
ITS YOUR FRIENDS WHO BREAK YOUR HEART HOW TO
It was once explained to me perfectly how to view feelings. Have compassion for yourself for experiencing a hard aspect of being human. When you get your heart broken, it can feel like this is such a personal thing. It’s one of those things in life that really reminds us that yes, in fact, we are human. If you’re wanting to get over your first love or a recent breakup, my heart goes out to you.
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